Got a single male friend who wants a pen pal?

WHAT? this swap is offensive I think to every sex and gender. Also, this would be awkward to make your "male" friend to write a letter..is this meant to be some kind of "finding a lover thru mail" swap?..And males can't join this swap..because? That aside you ask that only single girls join..implying that this swap is based around love/sexual reasons...just because a guy talks to a gurl it doesn't mean it has to be this way. stop following the norm. geez..this swap feels like it was done in the 50s. This website can be so sexist and separatist sometimes.

Hey Andrew, im not taking part in this swap because im married but I think its an ok swap, if you dont like it make one you do like that is similar. Dont slam other peoples swaps just because you dont like them or they are not geared towards you. I think thats not very nice. There is nothing wrong with this swap in my opinion.

Pot, kettle.

@whispernova is it supposed to be e-mail or postal mail? You've got Type 1: Electronic as the type. =)

Thanks Mystic! Nothing I implied in the swaps details even come close to hinting about a sexual relationship. Nor did I say you have to "make your male friend write a letter." There is nothing sexist or seperatist about this swap at all! It's my swap, I created it, and if you dont like it, create one that you do like. I suggest you re-read the details listed above. This isn't what discrimination. You are free to join weather you are black, blue, male, female, transgender. I stated that I prefer only single ladies join because of the simplicity of it. This is a swap! This is not a geo- political debate on gender rights. Swap bot is a wonderful place to create your own swaps, not a place for political debate. If you have a problem with this swap, then I guess that means you must have a problem with deodorant made for men. How dare they not say "women" on the label. Or what about a package of fruit of the loom underwear that states right on the label that it's for men. I can think of a thousand different male only products, ideas, things, etc. Your arguement that I have created something offensive is offensive.

User....thanks so much for bringing that to my attention. I will change that now.

I agree with @AndrewLips this is offensive. Saying you only want women to join is the same as saying you only want white people to join. This is sexist and homophobic. If you want a boyfriend, use a dating website.

Are you kidding me??? What on earth is wrong with you? How many swaps have I seen on here that state husband swaps where you send a post card or something to someones husband. I see them on here often. How in the heck is this any different?? How in the world is this homophobic?? How is this sexist? This is not a public school or government institution. This is a swap geared toward women who know a single male friend. Did I say they had to be straight? It's about women making friends with males weather they are straight or gay. This speaks more to your own insecurities than anything. It's a freaking swap for crying out loud.

P.s....I've gone through the swap details to ensure there is no discrimination and have highlighted the important details. Hopefully this will leave clear up any confusion on this.

The thing I take most issue with is you trying to use swapbot as a dating site. (as I'm giving you the benifit of the doubt that perhaps you're just ignorant to the fact that the rest would offend people) Why does the man have to be single? Why does the woman have to be single? If the purpose of the swap is to get more opposite sex pen pals purely for friendship (because the majority of people on here are female, maybe?) then nobody needed to be single.

A partner swap meant for you're other half, whomever that may be. You're swap is trying to get single men to write to single women. There are many obvious differences such as discrimination and motive.

It's sexist because you said you only want women to join, therefore discriminating against all other genders.

Don't start being rude to me, there is no need to make comments about me as a person just because I disagree with you swap.

Kitty Boo....I didn't invite you to make a comment on my swap. You took it upon yourself to do that. With that being said, you need to be prepared for a comment or two back. First of all, lets do some simple logical reasoning! If I did not specify that the male must be single and the female must be single, well, then that opens up a world of infidelity that I will not be held accountable for. What husband, or boyfriend is ok with his wife/gf receiving a letter from a single man? NONE that I know of. Therefore, it makes sense to have both parities in this be single.

Also, where did I say it was purely for friendship?? Where did I say it was purely for the hopes of a relationship? I didn't dear. You read what you wanted to read. The purpose is to make a new male pen pal. Wether more comes from it or not is totally up to both parties. Why did I specify single? Because I do not want to promote problems in any relationship. I mean come on...think about it. No man wants a single male writing to his woman.

I am dying to know exactly how I a trying to use swapbot as a dating site. This is one swap in several I have created over the past year and a half that I have been a member. Have I made several attempts at this? NO! I thought about it last night and thought it would make a cool swap on here. Telling me I am making this a dating site is absolutely ridiculous and childish on your part.

I see that you created a swap called The Color Purple. You stated the following requirements as quoted from your profile....

"No complete newbies, please have a couple of rated swaps under your belt. Please also have a nicely filled out profile with likes and dislikes to help your partner. Min rating of 4.7. I will be going through all who sign up and I reserve the right to ban you if anything looks a bit iffy."

If what I am doing is offensive and discriminatory then you need to realize that the following in your requirements fit under that profile as well. A) What if someone doesn't have any dislikes? Are you saying that they have to dislike something? Wow, that is so wrong. To insinuate that people out there have dislikes is offensive.

B) You have the right to ban anyone who looks iffy? Where is the Dept of Justice when you need them? What do you define as iffy? Could it be people who like hard rock versus the classical music you prefer? Or what about people that dislike angry rap music and its one of your favorites? Oh and what about the person who is an atheist? Are they iffy too?

My point is....that if you want to get into details regarding discrimination, sexism, etc. etc, you can find it just about anywhere. Quit fine tooth combing my profile. If you don't like it, move on. You find it offensive? Ok, well you stated your point. End of story.

ITS A SWAP! IT IS ALLOWED TO HAVE SPECIFICATIONS IF I WANT IT TOO!!!!! Telling me I am being discriminatory is wrong on so many levels!!! This swap is geared towards a certain sex. There is nothing wrong with that. And I have every right to create it. I have edited the swap so that it states anyone can join...although you have kind of ruined it. Saying that anyone single or taken can join takes away the whole idea of the swap.

Oh seriously? now you're just being plain rediculas. You can't tell me what I do or don't find offensive. I'm quite prepared for a comment back about what I was talking about not comments about me or someone talking down to me.

Your comments about my swap lack any sense. Nothing about my swap is offensive to anyone, please stop being pety.

'then that opens up a world of infidelity that I will not be held accountable for.' obviously implies that this swap is about dating.

I do understand that it easy to call anyone racist, sexist, homophobic ect ect but I'm not fine tooth combing anything, I found the basis of your swap offensive enough to make a comment about it. I don't wander about making a big deal about every and any tiny little thing I don't agree with. Genrally speaking I'm laid back and not easily offended but discrimination is wrong.

You are being discriminatory, saying someone can't do somthing simply because of sex, race, or orientation ect is discrimination.

IMHO, there's far more important things in life to get panties in a wad about than a swap on a website.

But, hey, maybe I'm more laid back than most.

I just wanted to say that I am married and my husband doesn't care who writes to me, gay or straight, male or female, single or otherwise. I don't have a problem with this swap. I think people on swap-bot can create whatever swaps they like...but it's just not true that every man feels insecure about who their wife penpals with.

Nature...your husband sounds like the type I want when I get married:) I do like a bit of jealousy, but not over board. Thanks for saying what you did though. I appreciate it:)

I personally think this is a great swap! I am signing up now and cant wait for it!

Awesome!!! Thanks for joining!

@whispernova Do you really believe what you just wrote? So much of it contradicts itself that I just had to stop reading.

I am sorry, if you do not see how this swap is SO MUCH different than sending a PC to our partners (Husbands). Sending a PC of some image with the words Happy Swapping is a lot different than sending a letter for a potential hook up.

I am blown away how you don't see the discrimination in this swap. I get that sometimes it can be hard to understand things of such a deep level. So perhaps you will understand this...

This swap is tacky. And screams that it is for people who are desperate.

I think this is a cool swap. If I wasn't married, I'd probably join. I love having all kinds of pen-pals and I feel like you learn more about people through letters than other forms of communication. I know my husband would NOT like me pen-palling with a single guy - but I get why some women would sign up to have a male pen-pal when we all already have 20 female pen-pals.

Funky, are you freaking kidding me????? You know what, you have a right to say whatever the heck you want to about this. If you do not like it, do not join.

I would like to meet all kinds of people doesnt mean Im desperate,thats kinda offensive

lol.. This is all so ridiculous.

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@whispernova wrote: "Nothing I implied in the swaps details even come close to hinting about a sexual relationship."

Maybe it doesn't imply a sexual relationship, but it certainly gives off the vibe of a starting point for a possible romantic relationship because you've added this to the swap description: "Any(..) single women can join."

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@whispernova wrote: "What husband, or boyfriend is ok with his wife/gf receiving a letter from a single man? NONE that I know of."

Anyone who is secure in their relationship and their self should have no problem with their partner receiving pen-pal letters from any gender. The fact that you bring this up proves the point made that this swap feels very much like a matchmaking swap. Otherwise, why would you need to worry about what a male wrote to a female? Also, one person's "infidelity" is not your problem. If someone really wants to cheat on their partner, they'll find a way to do it. But someone in a relationship writing to an opposite sex pen-pal is not always a recipe for infidelity.

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@whispernova wrote: "*No man wants a single male writing to his woman. *"

As I said before, anyone who was secure in their relationship should not have a problem with this. I'm currently in a relationship, and a good majority of my friends are male. Does this mean I'm going to cheat on my boyfriend? No. Does it mean that my boyfriend should ban me from talking to my male friends? No.

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@whispernova wrote: "*Saying that anyone single or taken can join takes away the whole idea of the swap. *"

Why? What difference does it make? Does being married or "taken" mean you wouldn't make as good a pen-pal? Does being in a relationship mean we are now no longer allowed to talk to someone of an opposite gender? This is 2011, not the 1950s.

Also want to add that I don't really find this swap itself offensive, but the host's reasoning behind it being for single people only is somewhat disturbing to me.

However, if she wants to host it, well... that's her deal. As long as its not breaking any rules, maybe it should be ignored. And for those of you who find it offensive, why not create your own non-discriminatory pen-pal swap for members that have no problem with who they write to? :)

Oh --so silly. Needless swap-drama. Her swap, her rules. Duh. Andrew, Kitty, anyone who is 'offended'... make your own.

holly I am with you - I have seen swaps for ppl with children - does that mean they are discriminating against ppl without kids? For all those "regional" swaps - does that mean they are discriminating against ppl from other countries? sheesh.. if ya don't like the swap don't look at it.. and I think there is a HUGE difference between saying single ladies need only sign up and only white people sign up.. last time I checked non-single people are not a minority nor repressed..

Hey @whispernova - if I were you - I would delete all these ridiculous comments here and ignore the ppl not happy unless some drama is started.. and ENJOY your swap.

I don't see how this swap is offensive at all. All swaps has rules & themes. This swap has it's own as well.

I personally think the swap is pretty darn funny. I would love to read some of the letters the guys make for a complete stranger.

And @chickadeebijoux beat me to it-what is the difference in this and swaps that have ONLY FOR XYZ? There is no difference.

All I want to know is what "rediculas" means! LOL!

BTW, this seems like a really fun swap - not sure why THIS one offends so many people? No worse than "EUROPE ONLY", "USA/CANADA", or "EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD EXCEPT THE US" types of swaps. And there IS a guy signed up for this as of today, so ????

To correct - I realize the swap is closed -- but a guy is signed up!

omigawd, some of the spelling is so funny..yah, I know..

thanks, reading all that numbed my brain, such silly stuff, pointless drama, to each his own..let it go!

Even if it were a swap for a single woman to maybe meet and get to know and maybe even gasp one day "hook-up" with a single man...so what? They are all over 18, right? Who are you to say it is a tacky way to meet? I don't think it's a tacky way to meet at all! I think it's delightful and old-fashioned to meet in the mail! I hope someone does make a fab "love connection" here on swapbot. And when they do, invite us all to the first Swapbot wedding.

And before you all get started whining, there is no danger of swapbot turning into Match.com. All of the other hundreds of swaps are not about single folks meeting. What is wrong with one or two that are promoting that? Are we back in the Victorian times or something? I can't believe how judgmental and close-minded people are being about this. What in the world is wrong with two single people meeting? And how could she possibly include every type of gay/straight/bicurious/femdom/transgender/maledom/leather/foot fetishist relationship in ONE little swap? If you want a swap for people with a fetish for pink latex outfits to meet, then HOST ONE! If you don't like this swap, MYOB!

I think it's naive to think that there are spouses that wouldn't mind their partners pen palling with a single person of the opposite gender.

I know my husband wouldn't care. And if he did, we wouldn't be married right now.

I also have a problem with the idea of "no man wants a single man writing to his woman." The very last thing I want to be known as is "someone's woman." I am my own person.

That being said - you have the right to create this swap, just as everyone else has the right to comment (and not join or join at their own will!)

And this is a public swap, and as a member of the SB community, this IS our business, so telling people to MYOB isn't really effective in this circumstance.