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MCGalaxy on Nov 14, 2018:

Newbie Friendly- Profile Joke #1

Now no one said they had to be funny jokes right because I found definite gongs

Hope you enjoy though

Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed. Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to Ikea.

Breaking a leg during an audition… Ensures that you end up in the cast.

I rode the elevator to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said, “Have a good day, son.” “Don’t call me son,” I said. “You’re not my dad.” He scratched his head and said, “No, but I brought you up, didn’t I?”.

What currency do they use in outer space? Starbucks.

My wife always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator. I guess we are raised differently.

BabyBee78 on Nov 14, 2018:

On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? About nine and three quarters. Newbie Friendly Profile Joke #1

vedaslava on Nov 14, 2018:

Newbie Friendly- Profile Joke #1

A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"

PrettyAlice on Nov 14, 2018:

Newbie Friendly Profile Joke #1

What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper.

annim on Nov 14, 2018:

Newbie Friendly - Profile Joke #1

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

jaimierandolph on Nov 14, 2018:

Newbie Friendly- Profile Joke #1

A preacher, completing a temperance sermon, spoke with great fervor! “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d throw it all into the river.??? With greater emphasis, he said, “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d throw it all into the river.??? And finally he said, “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d throw it all into the river, too!??? As he took his chair, the song leader stood and announced with a smile, “For our closing hymn, let us sing number 365: “Shall We Gather at the River.???

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