lettergirl

I'm Jamie, back on Swap-bot after a hugely long break. I must admit, I am a little sad to change my profile information, since it's been up here for roughly 8 years, and I kinda liked it! But I am told change is good, so I will update. (Plus, I finally learned how to take a screenshot, which is exciting, so I memorialized it!) It's in my camera roll, only to be deleted when I run out of space, since I still don't know how to upload photos to the cloud or the net or the sky or the computer or anywhere else that would be useful.

I'm 48. A mother. A wife. A teacher. Sorely out of practice in the art of making myself seem even remotely interesting.

I like things you can buy and then put together easily, and you can thank my rotten home ec teacher in 7th grade for that. The miserable woman scared me away from ever being able to use a sewing machine, just because my pig pillow took too long to assemble. If I weren't so OVER her, I'd hunt down one of those kits and embroider a swear word on it and send it to her. She's probably dead now, but still. Good thing I'm over it.

I like paper crafts. No home ec teacher ever ruined me on cutting and gluing.
Yet.

I like the idea of whimsey jars, and things that are delightful. I scrapbook, but my pages are really bad. Like the kind you don't put on flickr, but you rationalize them by believing your children will be glad to look at them when you're dead, even if they're awful. (I figure they might even feel sorry for me, and wished they had bought me better Mother's Day presents.)

I also like to make cards, because it requires no cutting of pictures, and if they're icky, you just send them to loved ones, and THEY can't complain, because they don't write at all.

I'm sorry to say that if you are looking for tv recommendations, I am such a dud. I was reading what I wrote here the last time I updated this, and I mentioned the tv show ABOUT A BOY. Not the movie. Remember that show that ran for about two seasons? Yep, me neither.

I went through one of those really crap seasons in life for a couple of years a while back, and I think it was then that I kind of dropped watching tv much. At least not anything new, or hard for my anguished brain to focus on. Now I care again but I know the risks of getting into a new show. If you love it, you have to binge-watch until your eyes burn and you're forced to pretend to have a drug problem so nobody knows that reason you have bags and a zombie stare is because you couldn't discipline yourself to turn off the damned tv, since you HAVE a job, and going through three seasons of a show in a weekend isn't it.

I go to the library and stand by the "new" book shelves, and if anyone looks like they're going in to reach for it, I grab it, because they know what they like, and it's probably good. It's fun to win.

I hate to admit it, us being just barely acquainted and all, but I like realistic fiction. Not that kind on the reading list for college literature, either. Just good old her-husband-had-an-affair-and-now-she's-picking-up-the-pieces kind of stories. Bonus if they contain recipes or talk about oceans. Extra bonus if they DON'T contain an overabundance of description.

Oh, and those memoirs of people who survived weird diseases, bad marriages, troubled children, hard times, or being trapped in countries where you can't take your children with you, even though he said they belonged to you both until you got there and now he said he divorced you and you'll never see your children again. And polygamy. I'm fascinated with polygamy.

scrapbook papers and stickers designed for scrapbooks

cats and dogs

butter--(you don't need to know that, but I really do like butter)

Kawaii stickers and coloring sheets

prayers, if you're the religious kind.

little plastic toys or dolls or charms or animals

Chocolate and/or snacks

Address labels. What a score!

I am always looking for flat stickers, because I like to put them on envelopes

Does anyone have any of those puffy stickers with the googly eyes from the 70's and 80's? I miss those!

office supplies sarcasm--more the silly kind and less the mean kind

blank labels

unique pens and pencils

note paper that is decorated or funny

things with the "J" monogram on them

new sharpie markers in cool colors, or scrapbooking pens

glittery things

mini-sized things

Hot chocolate packets

activity books (I wish they made these for grown-ups)

star and heart shapes

trial sizes of regular products

whimsey jars, or littler versions, like matchboxes, with a surprise inside

unique envelopes I can use, big or small

vintage bluebirds and happy looking birds

notecards and envelope

stamping supplies--stamps and inks

novelty key chains

journals or notebooks

larger stickers

charms that come in bubble gum machines, especially if they're old

coloring books

vintage ephemera

felted toys

Grover from Sesame Street

anything related to the show "All in the Family"

candy

iced tea

long letters

word games and puzzles

70's tv shows logic puzzles (the easier ones as I am not ambitious)

old salt and pepper shakers

items styled from the 20's to the 50's

spring and summer

light orange, red, yellow, light green, blue, lilac, purple, pink, sometimes brown.

the ocean and things related to looking at the ocean and eating lobster or going to the beach or having a vacation

squirrels and other woodland creatures

cool fonts on the computer

one million dollars in unmarked bills

SCRATCH LOTTERY TICKETS

painting by numbers

art kits, even the small ones

dot-to-dot books or sheets, especially hard ones

recommendations of good authors and books

lions

cats wearing wigs

fruit prints

Snoopy items

A good magazine

A cigar box

hand-knitted socks...I've never had any, I just wish you would make me some, you charity knitters out there.

Foam stickers. Foam anything.

Not capitalizing the pronoun "I". That's just wrong.

This is mean, but I hate sunflowers and carnations. I know this makes me a bad person.

Tiny stickers. Why do they make these?

When swaps call for a note and people write the least they can.

Supernatural or paranormal TV shows--I don't like looking at scary things or working that hard to understand what's going on.

People who take time to chastise something I've said on swap-bot. Don't like my swap? Who cares, lady?!

People overzealous with 3's and people who sort of hint that they "REAAALLY love those hearts!!"

Christmas stuff...I'm not against the idea of Christmas, I just really hate Christmas looking stuff.

Dried flowers and fake flowers and flower arrangements with those huge woody things in there.

Dark colors. Americana looking stuff, or apple-themed objects.

People who are mean about immigrant children.

Candy made in China. (I just feel like I'm being poisoned with lead. Or melamine. Or leaded melamine.)

When people don't rate after they have gotten what you sent.

Fibers, confetti, plastic jewels, and those painted wooden little shapes.

The colors teal and logan green. And beige and maroon and mauve and that yellow that looks like it has brown in it.

Camping and being cold or wet

Japanese anime.

Hear me out here: I hate re-gifted stuff. Now, now. I understand that we all have things we like and we don't, and can pass things on, and that's great. Very "green". But like, have any of you out there ever gotten a whole pile of stuff that you know has seen the rounds BECAUSE NOBODY REALLY LIKED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE AND PEOPLE KEEP SENDING IT ON AND ON? Very depressing. So, what I'm saying is, maybe if we re-gift something we KNOW is a kind of a "homely-not-bring-it-home-to-meet-mother" kind of item, then maybe we can make up for it with other, more attractive and usable stuff mixed in there, so the person we send it to does not want to hang themselves when they have no money but they're looking forward to a swap coming because, hey, at least there is MAIL to look forward to, and then you rip it open and it's like that "whaa whaa waaaaa..." sound they make when you lose in game shows and you know have no right to be choosy but still, you're...what? Oh, sorry. I mean...it's just that...er...sorry.

People who hate cats and like to say so.

LOL--I'm not saying you can't use it. I'm just asking, did you truly laugh out loud? Because if you didn't, I don't want you using that on me. I'll think you were laughing when you weren't.